Back to the year-long learning theme of God's sovereignty and providence.....
"The primary purpose is for us to become so convinced of ...[the sovereignty, love, and wisdom of God]...that we appropriate them in our daily circumstances, that we learn to trust God in the midst of our pain, whatever form it may take" (19).
"God's providence is His constant care for and His absolute rule over all His creation for His own glory and the good of His people" (23).
Jerry Bridges' Trusting God: Even When Life Hurts (Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2008).
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Monday, September 07, 2009
New book, new post :-)
New school year, new book, new post - how exciting! :)
I recently purchased Jerry Bridges' Trusting God: Even When Life Hurts (Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2008). A foundational premise is that so often it is easier to obey God than to trust Him, especially amidst difficult situations, but that trust is just as essential and God-glorifying. I appreciate the call to examine our hearts and to again look at the wisdom and the sovereignty of God in various spheres of Creation, based on the Word.
Speaking to the reason why it is sometimes hard to trust through difficult times:
May we obey AND trust our great God and Father!
I recently purchased Jerry Bridges' Trusting God: Even When Life Hurts (Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2008). A foundational premise is that so often it is easier to obey God than to trust Him, especially amidst difficult situations, but that trust is just as essential and God-glorifying. I appreciate the call to examine our hearts and to again look at the wisdom and the sovereignty of God in various spheres of Creation, based on the Word.
Speaking to the reason why it is sometimes hard to trust through difficult times:
"Obeying God is worked out within well-defined boundaries of God's revealed will. Trusting God is worked out in an arena that has no boundaries. We do not know the extent, the duration, or the frequency of the painful, adverse circumstances in which we must frequently trust God. We are always coping with the unknown.
"Yet it is just as important to trust God as it is to obey Him....In order to trust God, we must always view our adverse circumstances through the eyes of faith, not of sense....It is only from the Scriptures, applied to our hearts by the Holy Spirit, that we receive the grace to trust God in adversity" (16).
May we obey AND trust our great God and Father!
Monday, August 31, 2009
don't waste it!
"Regret and worry are two incredible wastes of your imagination."
~ Paraphrase of Mrs. B's wisdom (from a Dutch saying?!)
~ Paraphrase of Mrs. B's wisdom (from a Dutch saying?!)
Of course, there are also Biblical commands not to worry and to leave things to the Lord.
All the same, I found this quotation striking. Our imagination and brainpower are drained by fruitless regret over things that we can't change and worry over things that are yet to come.
Needless to say, we need to live careful, thoughtful, reflective lives, but most often the worry and regret distract from the present; too often they invite opportunity for doubt, self-pity, anxiety, etc.
So how are you using your imagination these days (especially you teacher-folk starting school again!)
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
TIME and ownership
Last one from C.S. Lewis. Hopefully you've either gleaned enough to be challenged or are motivated to put The Screwtape Letters on your reading list! :)
Time.
We know it is limited.
And not our own.
Do we use it that way?
I found this passage totally convicting!
The "advice" from the senior devil was to make the human angry whenever something "interrupted" his plan for how he would use his time. Angry that someone stopped him for guidance. Angry that there was an unexpected visitor.
When we remember that time is not our own, and that this life is so fleeting, it surely puts time in a whole different light!
Time.
We know it is limited.
And not our own.
Do we use it that way?
I found this passage totally convicting!
You must therefore zealously guard in his mind the curious assumption 'My time is my own.' Let him have the feeling that he starts each day as the lawful possessor of twenty-four hours....The assumption which you want him to go on making is so absurd that, if once it is questioned, even we cannot find a shred of argument in its defence. The man can neither make, nor retain, one moment of time; it all comes to him by pure gift; he might as well regard the sun and moon as his chattels (112).
The "advice" from the senior devil was to make the human angry whenever something "interrupted" his plan for how he would use his time. Angry that someone stopped him for guidance. Angry that there was an unexpected visitor.
When we remember that time is not our own, and that this life is so fleeting, it surely puts time in a whole different light!
Thursday, August 06, 2009
the need for change
Continuing to share from this brilliant piece of work by Lewis (The Screwtape Letters), below is a section referring to the desire for incessant change. The "devils" are discussing how they think they can exploit this idea to cause dissatisfaction and to draw people away from asking if things are righteous, prudent, possible, necessary....
Variety is good and, of course, not in itself sinful. Our Lord has created such a bountiful Earth with such incredible, imaginative sources of diversity and creativity. But when pure novelty and change is sought for its own pleasure, we should stop and think.
Only by our incessant efforts is the demand for infinite, or unrhythmical, change kept up. This demand is valuable in various ways.
In the first place it diminishes pleasure while increasing desire. The pleasure of novelty is by its very nature more subject than any other to the law of diminishing returns.
And continued novelty costs money, so that the desire for it spells avarice or unhappiness or both.
And again, the more rapacious this desire, the sooner it must eat up all the innocent sources of pleasure and pass on to those the Enemy forbids (137, emphasis mine).
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
humility
"Before destruction a man’s heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor." Proverbs 18:12 (ESV)
"Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves." Philippians 2:3 (ESV)
Humility is one of those interesting "virtues." Often people strive to be humble and end up feeling proud of how humble they are. Or, on the contrary, their humility becomes a sense of self-loathing. Neither is Biblical.
True humility, of course, comes from looking to Christ. By understanding His perfection, we recognize the gravity of our sin and the consequences of it. Yet, by looking at Christ, we see the incredible love our LORD has for us - so great that He sends Jesus to atone for our sin.
In my journey through Lewis' The Screwtape Letters (which I have long since devoured but will continue to share with you), I came across an interesting passage where the "senior demon" is talking to his "young nephew demon" about this issue.
To be rejoicing in something as much if someone else does it excellently as if I had done it myself.
Wow - that is going to take work, and prayer.
But when we recognize that this world is not all there is (something that has been on my mind a lot lately), that makes perfect sense.
"Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves." Philippians 2:3 (ESV)
Humility is one of those interesting "virtues." Often people strive to be humble and end up feeling proud of how humble they are. Or, on the contrary, their humility becomes a sense of self-loathing. Neither is Biblical.
True humility, of course, comes from looking to Christ. By understanding His perfection, we recognize the gravity of our sin and the consequences of it. Yet, by looking at Christ, we see the incredible love our LORD has for us - so great that He sends Jesus to atone for our sin.
In my journey through Lewis' The Screwtape Letters (which I have long since devoured but will continue to share with you), I came across an interesting passage where the "senior demon" is talking to his "young nephew demon" about this issue.
"The Enemy wants to bring the man to a state of mind in which he could design the best cathedral in the world, and know it to be the best, and rejoice in the fact, without being any more (or less) or otherwise glad at having done it than he would be if it had been done by another. The Enemy wants him, in the end, to be so free from any bias in his own favour that he can rejoice in his own talents as frankly and gratefully as in his neighbour's talents - or in a sunrise, an elephant, or a waterfall. He wants each man, in the long run, to be able to recognise all creatures (even himself) as glorious and excellent things. He wants to kill their animal self-love as soon as possible; but it is His long-term policy, I fear, to restore to them a new kind of self-love - a charity and gratitude for all selves, including their own...." (Lewis, 71).
To be rejoicing in something as much if someone else does it excellently as if I had done it myself.
Wow - that is going to take work, and prayer.
But when we recognize that this world is not all there is (something that has been on my mind a lot lately), that makes perfect sense.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
not ordinary
Washing dishes.
Practicing the piano.
Making dinner.
Going for a long bike ride.
Yes, these were some recent activities.
Some could call them mundane activities - just "the ordinary," right?
That is the mentality we need to fight, especially as Christians. I just started C.S. Lewis' The Screwtape Letters (1942, HarperCollins: NY), a "conversation" between a senior and junior devil. (See here to read the first chapter on line). In chapter one, the senior devil is recommending ways for the junior devil to tempt a new Christian:
Isn't it so true that we are sometimes led to believe what we do from day to day is mundane?
The ordinary.
The unimportant.
Our eyes become glazed with the here and now and we lose sight of the big purpose and the role the small things have in that big purpose.
What is our attitude as we do the routine things?
With what is our mind occupied as we accomplish those tasks?
Do we see the many pleasures and delights in each of those situations, or the things that can remind us of characteristics of our loving Heavenly Father?
It may seem silly, but take washing dishes for example.
I can be grateful for the convenience of water that comes to my fingertips;
I can reflect on stewardship issues;
I can marvel at how the soap removes the grease and the chemistry behind that;
I can take delight in seeing dirty made clean, and think of my own sins being removed;
I can enjoy the feeling of the warm water;
I can use that time to pray or to recite Scripture, etc.
This of course is a very personalized list and by no means an endless list. The possibilities are endless. I'm not saying to hyper-spiritualize everything we do, but I am saying we should not become disillusioned with the things that seem "regular."
That robs joy!
Be challenged:
see the beauty,
enjoy the sounds,
cherish the fellowship,
commune with your Maker.
Do not allow Satan to convince God's people that this world is boring, or that our faith is boring, or that God is boring.
Practicing the piano.
Making dinner.
Going for a long bike ride.
Yes, these were some recent activities.
Some could call them mundane activities - just "the ordinary," right?
That is the mentality we need to fight, especially as Christians. I just started C.S. Lewis' The Screwtape Letters (1942, HarperCollins: NY), a "conversation" between a senior and junior devil. (See here to read the first chapter on line). In chapter one, the senior devil is recommending ways for the junior devil to tempt a new Christian:
...they find it all but impossible to believe in the unfamiliar while the familiar is before their eyes. Keep pressing home on him the ordinariness of things (4, bold mine).
Isn't it so true that we are sometimes led to believe what we do from day to day is mundane?
The ordinary.
The unimportant.
Our eyes become glazed with the here and now and we lose sight of the big purpose and the role the small things have in that big purpose.
What is our attitude as we do the routine things?
With what is our mind occupied as we accomplish those tasks?
Do we see the many pleasures and delights in each of those situations, or the things that can remind us of characteristics of our loving Heavenly Father?
It may seem silly, but take washing dishes for example.
I can be grateful for the convenience of water that comes to my fingertips;
I can reflect on stewardship issues;
I can marvel at how the soap removes the grease and the chemistry behind that;
I can take delight in seeing dirty made clean, and think of my own sins being removed;
I can enjoy the feeling of the warm water;
I can use that time to pray or to recite Scripture, etc.
This of course is a very personalized list and by no means an endless list. The possibilities are endless. I'm not saying to hyper-spiritualize everything we do, but I am saying we should not become disillusioned with the things that seem "regular."
That robs joy!
Be challenged:
see the beauty,
enjoy the sounds,
cherish the fellowship,
commune with your Maker.
Do not allow Satan to convince God's people that this world is boring, or that our faith is boring, or that God is boring.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
sharing resources
School is out.
Or at least my teaching of it.
Summer school is in - for me! :)
I love learning!
I also love sharing resources with fellow sojourners. Lydia Brownback's blog has consistently been a great encouragement to me, so I share it with you.
Enjoy!
Or at least my teaching of it.
Summer school is in - for me! :)
I love learning!
I also love sharing resources with fellow sojourners. Lydia Brownback's blog has consistently been a great encouragement to me, so I share it with you.
Enjoy!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
worthy investment
I continue to marvel at the joy that comes from investing in others. We were definitely created to live in community, to care for one another, and to corporately enter God's throne of mercy. However, often the risk involved in relationships in scary. Alongside the joy is pain. Disappointment. Hurt. Even anger.
Yet still, we are called - command! - to love one another. It is good and right and true.
C.S. Lewis speaks to this as well.
C.S. Lewis. The Inspirational Writings of C.S. Lewis. New York: Inspirational Press, 1994, 278.
Yet still, we are called - command! - to love one another. It is good and right and true.
C.S. Lewis speaks to this as well.
Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless-it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.
C.S. Lewis. The Inspirational Writings of C.S. Lewis. New York: Inspirational Press, 1994, 278.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
new post needed
Yes, I definitely need to write a new post soon.
And a "heart" post.
For the meantime, suffice it to say that it never continues to amaze me how the Lord works.
It is such a blessing to look back on the events recorded in Scripture and the events in my simple life to see his hand leading in such clear, unmistakeable, God-centered ways.
May He again be praised.
And a "heart" post.
For the meantime, suffice it to say that it never continues to amaze me how the Lord works.
It is such a blessing to look back on the events recorded in Scripture and the events in my simple life to see his hand leading in such clear, unmistakeable, God-centered ways.
May He again be praised.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
release
I have held many things in my hands and lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess.
-- Martin Luther
-- Martin Luther
Friday, May 22, 2009
funny friday
I really should make a quotation book for all the hilarious things students say. I feel like I don't capture those moments often enough. In any given day, there are a multitude!
Here are a few from today. Remember I teach high school!
Here are a few from today. Remember I teach high school!
"Are cashews peaunuts?" (Said in all sweet sincerity).
"I don't want to touch that bug. It might 'get' me!"
"Miss S-------, you should paint your toenails. They are
nasty!"
(That was the funniest one today. No shame...!)
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Saturday, May 09, 2009
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
sick of sin
Sometimes I just get so sick of sin,
both in my own life and in the lives of those around me.
I get tired of giving in to variations of the same temptations over and over again.
I become weary of fighting against the thoughts, the looks, the words, etc. that seem to come so naturally when I least expect them.
My longing is to be like Jesus, to be perfect as we are called to be, but it is so evident that I am not. And it is frustrating and humbling.
I live in the knowledge of grace. I truly do. But sometimes it seems that "song" is abused and used as an excuse, so I am cautious there.
We do need to struggle and wrestle and fight.
And ultimately, release. Submit. Give up our burden and yoke for the one that is easier and lighter.
And again, it is grace that shines through.
Boundless grace.
Matchless forgiveness.
Unsurpassed love.
"If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
1 John 1:8-9
both in my own life and in the lives of those around me.
I get tired of giving in to variations of the same temptations over and over again.
I become weary of fighting against the thoughts, the looks, the words, etc. that seem to come so naturally when I least expect them.
My longing is to be like Jesus, to be perfect as we are called to be, but it is so evident that I am not. And it is frustrating and humbling.
I live in the knowledge of grace. I truly do. But sometimes it seems that "song" is abused and used as an excuse, so I am cautious there.
We do need to struggle and wrestle and fight.
And ultimately, release. Submit. Give up our burden and yoke for the one that is easier and lighter.
And again, it is grace that shines through.
Boundless grace.
Matchless forgiveness.
Unsurpassed love.
"If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
1 John 1:8-9
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
the balance in "vocation"
"If any that fear God shall complain that, although they have a calling, yet it is a hard and laborious one, which takes up too much of their time which they would gladly employ in other and better work, I answer that it is likely that the wisdom of Providence foresaw this to be the most suitable and proper employment for you; and if you had more ease and rest, you might have more temptations than now you have....Do not be slothful and idle in your vocations....And yet do not be so intent upon your particular callings as to make them interfere with your general calling. Beware that you do not lose your God in the crowd and hurry of earthly business" (Flavel, The Mystery of Providence, 77-79, emphasis mine).
Recently I was reminded of the children's song, "The Wedding Banquet," which is a song version of Matthew 22 (see here). This song shares how sometimes it is the ordinary things of life that keep people from the wedding feast (ie the Kingdom of God). Flavel's exposition on calling and vocation again reminded me of this fact. May we walk and work carefully, purposefully and watchfully.
Recently I was reminded of the children's song, "The Wedding Banquet," which is a song version of Matthew 22 (see here). This song shares how sometimes it is the ordinary things of life that keep people from the wedding feast (ie the Kingdom of God). Flavel's exposition on calling and vocation again reminded me of this fact. May we walk and work carefully, purposefully and watchfully.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
contentment
More Flavel.
Not easy.
But Biblical.
"Do not show the least discontent at the lot and portion Providence carves out for you. O that you would be well pleased and satisfied with all its appointments" (88).
May we have the grace to be content. And full of joy.
Not easy.
But Biblical.
"Do not show the least discontent at the lot and portion Providence carves out for you. O that you would be well pleased and satisfied with all its appointments" (88).
May we have the grace to be content. And full of joy.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
direction of our hearts
In Honduras, a friend shared Dr. Timothy Keller's sermon series on "Practical Grace: How the Gospel Transforms Character." I highly recommend this ten-part series from Redeemer Presbyterian Church; it is Biblically convicting and helps one critically and loving analyze the motives behind one's actions.
One very practical thing I learned about was "over-desires." Most of our "idols" are not wrong desires in themselves, but rather over-desires. This weekend, I continued in my journey of reading Flavel's The Mystery of Providence (1678, reprinted 1998). One section reminded me of this concept of over-desires.
One very practical thing I learned about was "over-desires." Most of our "idols" are not wrong desires in themselves, but rather over-desires. This weekend, I continued in my journey of reading Flavel's The Mystery of Providence (1678, reprinted 1998). One section reminded me of this concept of over-desires.
Whatsoever we have over-loved, idolized, and leaned upon, God has from time to time broken it, and made us to see the vanity of it; so that we find the readiest course to be rid of our comforts is to set our hearts inordinately or immoderately upon them. For our God is a jealous God, and will not part with His glory to another" (124).
Jealous God. Will not share His glory.
Am I, are you, giving Him his due glory? May we see the lasting joy of the beauty of our God!
(Jake, this book continues to have many jewels; sorry for not being faithful in posting quotations for you. Do read it this summer though, if you can make the time!)
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
wrestling
"I will not let You go unless You bless me" (Genesis 32:26b)
Jacob wrestling with God.
This account has been read or referred to at least seven times since the beginning of the year: at a conference, during Scripture readings and staff devotions, in multiple unrelated books, during conversations, etc. Recently, our pastor became unexpectedly ill on Sunday, so an elder read a sermon that had been on file for quite some time. From the pulpit, I hear "please turn to Genesis 32:22...." Incredible!
I love it how God sometimes teaches us in "themes."
It solidifies the message and emphasizes its importance. That is definitely true of this passage.
Jacob, the now-mighty man, returning to his homeland.
Jacob, the successful man, blessed by the Lord.
Jacob, the deceiver. Jacob's name itself means "supplanter" in Hebrew: literally, "the one who takes the heel." He had taken things by scheme and by force throughout his life.
Jacob wrestling with God.
This account has been read or referred to at least seven times since the beginning of the year: at a conference, during Scripture readings and staff devotions, in multiple unrelated books, during conversations, etc. Recently, our pastor became unexpectedly ill on Sunday, so an elder read a sermon that had been on file for quite some time. From the pulpit, I hear "please turn to Genesis 32:22...." Incredible!
I love it how God sometimes teaches us in "themes."
It solidifies the message and emphasizes its importance. That is definitely true of this passage.
Jacob, the now-mighty man, returning to his homeland.
Jacob, the successful man, blessed by the Lord.
Jacob, the deceiver. Jacob's name itself means "supplanter" in Hebrew: literally, "the one who takes the heel." He had taken things by scheme and by force throughout his life.
Now Jacob is returning to Canaan after living with his uncle Laban in Haran, as God commanded him (Gen. 31:13). Laban and Jacob made a covenant, but Jacob still needs to face his brother Esau, who is coming to meet him. Jacob has reason to be afraid.
Remarkably, Jacob prays before the Lord, acknowledging that God is the one who directs and controls all things (Gen. 32:9-10). Jacob recognizes that without God, his efforts are in vain. God is the giver of all gifts and the great Protector.
Genesis 32:22-32. God has Jacob...alone...and wrestles with him in a visible manifestation. He "matches his strength" to Jacob's and demands everything from him, not allowing Jacob to depend upon his own human strength and his wit. God touches / strikes Jacob's hip, the pivot of his wrestling strength, and the hip is put out of joint.
YET, Jacob clings to God. He acknowledges his inferiority before God and ask the greater to bless him, the lesser. He knows he relies upon the Lord.
And God, great and merciful, gives Jacob a new name. Israel. Prince with God. The one who strives with God. Israel, the name that will be forever passed down to God's people. Remarkable.
So Jacob names the place Peniel, meaning "I have seen God face to face and my life is preserved." Jacob doesn't boast, "I have seen God and have been found worthy," or "I have wrestled God and prevailed." He doesn't celebrate his "victory" or his blessing, but he realizes the grace of God that preserved Him rather than destroying him.
The day has broken, so Jacob goes forward to meet Esau. Limping. Hip out of joint. The constant reminder, step by step, that he is fully and totally dependent upon God. God preserved him. God blessed him. God is his sustainer and will be with him even in this meeting with Esau.
All of our self-sufficiency, our pride, our desire to do things on our own...it must be laid down at the foot of the cross. We must depend fully and only on the Lord. Like Jacob, we must take each step recognizing the preserving grace of God, acknowledging his presence and power in our lives.
We must recognize the price paid by Jesus in order to bring about this reconciliation. What a gift! What a God!
(Please note: these thoughts are a culmination of the material that was shared with me, especially the New Geneva Study Bible study notes and the conference and sermon materials).
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Salvation Army
Raw emotion.
That is how I would explain my short little trip to the local Salvation Army. I was doing some errands in town and dropped off a box of clothes, books, kitchen items, etc. that I would no longer use. If I think about it long and hard, I would have to admit that it was more to get the things "out of my way" than it was truly to bless someone else. I hate to have to admit it.
All the same, there I stood, at the reception desk.
It was as if my emotion receptors were on "high" and that time stood still. I just soaked it all up.
A lady on a stretcher was being brought in by two paramedics. She was elderly, in her 60s probably, and most likely had no place to call her own. I don't know if the cold weather got to her or some other societal ill, but her eyes....they were lonely.
Then there was the young boy (maybe 12) with the baggy pants and cocked hat, speaking to someone to see if he could be admitted for the night.
"Have you ever spent a night here before?"
"No."
"What is the reason you are here?"
"Well, I can't really stay at home tonight...." (the conversation went something like this).
I tried not to eavesdrop, but my heart was aching.
I thought of my students.
Of my siblings.
Of the many times I had taken for granted the home in which I grew up.
[I started to fill in the form to describe the items in the box I was donating....].
Beside me was a man about my age, carrying a garbage bag full of items, who came in at the same time I did. We exchanged a friendly smile. At first glance, it looked like he might be dropping off a donation as well. I was dead wrong.
"I was unable to check in at the other shelter. They told me to try back after 8pm. Could I leave my stuff here for now?"
"You're going to try back there later?"
"Yes, but I have, you know, all my stuff and I don't want to carry it around. Could I leave it here for now until I know where I will be for the night?"
I passed the completed paper back across the counter, saying, "I know it isn't much, but I hope it can be useful." Even as I spoke the words, I wish I could have snatched them back. I felt my face burn with embarrassment as there was this awkward "knowingness" between me and the man beside me.
I was donating, almost carelessly.
He was checking in, at least temporarily.
The amount I was donating, he owned and was carrying around with him.
It was so strange.
I wish I could have turned to him and had a normal conversation. But it didn't happen.
I turned, we exchanged another knowing smile, and I headed out the door.
And for that moment, I resented the purse over my shoulder, the car keys in my hand, the coat and shoes and clothes that were clean and neat and screamed, "I'm a middle-class citizen."
Sometimes it is hard to reconcile injustice.
I am ever grateful there are so many places that exist to care for people who are temporarily in a hard place / time. Yet it grieves me that there need to be those places. It bothers me that I'm not more conscious of that on a daily basis. It hurts that there is hurt, on all levels.
Come, Lord Jesus!
That is how I would explain my short little trip to the local Salvation Army. I was doing some errands in town and dropped off a box of clothes, books, kitchen items, etc. that I would no longer use. If I think about it long and hard, I would have to admit that it was more to get the things "out of my way" than it was truly to bless someone else. I hate to have to admit it.
All the same, there I stood, at the reception desk.
It was as if my emotion receptors were on "high" and that time stood still. I just soaked it all up.
A lady on a stretcher was being brought in by two paramedics. She was elderly, in her 60s probably, and most likely had no place to call her own. I don't know if the cold weather got to her or some other societal ill, but her eyes....they were lonely.
Then there was the young boy (maybe 12) with the baggy pants and cocked hat, speaking to someone to see if he could be admitted for the night.
"Have you ever spent a night here before?"
"No."
"What is the reason you are here?"
"Well, I can't really stay at home tonight...." (the conversation went something like this).
I tried not to eavesdrop, but my heart was aching.
I thought of my students.
Of my siblings.
Of the many times I had taken for granted the home in which I grew up.
[I started to fill in the form to describe the items in the box I was donating....].
Beside me was a man about my age, carrying a garbage bag full of items, who came in at the same time I did. We exchanged a friendly smile. At first glance, it looked like he might be dropping off a donation as well. I was dead wrong.
"I was unable to check in at the other shelter. They told me to try back after 8pm. Could I leave my stuff here for now?"
"You're going to try back there later?"
"Yes, but I have, you know, all my stuff and I don't want to carry it around. Could I leave it here for now until I know where I will be for the night?"
I passed the completed paper back across the counter, saying, "I know it isn't much, but I hope it can be useful." Even as I spoke the words, I wish I could have snatched them back. I felt my face burn with embarrassment as there was this awkward "knowingness" between me and the man beside me.
I was donating, almost carelessly.
He was checking in, at least temporarily.
The amount I was donating, he owned and was carrying around with him.
It was so strange.
I wish I could have turned to him and had a normal conversation. But it didn't happen.
I turned, we exchanged another knowing smile, and I headed out the door.
And for that moment, I resented the purse over my shoulder, the car keys in my hand, the coat and shoes and clothes that were clean and neat and screamed, "I'm a middle-class citizen."
Sometimes it is hard to reconcile injustice.
I am ever grateful there are so many places that exist to care for people who are temporarily in a hard place / time. Yet it grieves me that there need to be those places. It bothers me that I'm not more conscious of that on a daily basis. It hurts that there is hurt, on all levels.
Come, Lord Jesus!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
...money for thought...
I taught a unit on finances to my Career Studies course. In that process, I found a few quotes I thought I would share. :)
“What I gave, I have; what I spent, I had; what I kept, I lost.” ~ Anonymous (Burkett, 171).
“The generous man enriches himself by giving; the miser hoards himself poor.” ~ Dutch Proverb (Burkett, 173).
“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.” ~ Jim Elliot (Burkett, 182).
“What I gave, I have; what I spent, I had; what I kept, I lost.” ~ Anonymous (Burkett, 171).
“The generous man enriches himself by giving; the miser hoards himself poor.” ~ Dutch Proverb (Burkett, 173).
“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.” ~ Jim Elliot (Burkett, 182).
Sunday, March 08, 2009
"a ravishing and delectable sight"
I confess that many times I have begun another entry, but it has never made it to completion. Perhaps I should change the name of this blog to "failing to blog faithfully" or something like that! Ha ha.
I've started to work through John Flavel's The Mystery of Providence (Carlisle, Pennsylvania: The Banner of Truth Trust, 1998). I appreciate chewing through Flavel's old English; it was originally published in 1678. More importantly, I have been very encouraged by his exposition about Providence and how God directs all the details of our lives (although He is not the author of sin, but may use our sinfulness for His ultimate purposes).
In his introduction, Flavel speaks of how we do not yet have the full view of what God is doing in our lives. Our perspective is so limited, and too often we grumble against what we do not understand. But one day we will.
It is comforting to know that God is in control. A few months ago (on two occasions), the illustration was shared of God weaving a beautiful tapestry throughout time. As finite humans, we can only see the underside of this big, magnificent rug / quilt / piece of art. We see the strings going in all directions, the knots, the mish-mash of colours, etc. But from "above," God the Great Designer is weaving a masterpiece. One with purpose, with order, and with beauty.
He gets the glory. We fit into the story. But we don't see it all at the moment. That is what it means to live and walk and love in trust.
I've started to work through John Flavel's The Mystery of Providence (Carlisle, Pennsylvania: The Banner of Truth Trust, 1998). I appreciate chewing through Flavel's old English; it was originally published in 1678. More importantly, I have been very encouraged by his exposition about Providence and how God directs all the details of our lives (although He is not the author of sin, but may use our sinfulness for His ultimate purposes).
In his introduction, Flavel speaks of how we do not yet have the full view of what God is doing in our lives. Our perspective is so limited, and too often we grumble against what we do not understand. But one day we will.
O how ravishing and delectable a sight will it be to behold at one view the whole design of Providence, and the proper place and use of every single act, which we could not understand in this world! (22).
It is comforting to know that God is in control. A few months ago (on two occasions), the illustration was shared of God weaving a beautiful tapestry throughout time. As finite humans, we can only see the underside of this big, magnificent rug / quilt / piece of art. We see the strings going in all directions, the knots, the mish-mash of colours, etc. But from "above," God the Great Designer is weaving a masterpiece. One with purpose, with order, and with beauty.
He gets the glory. We fit into the story. But we don't see it all at the moment. That is what it means to live and walk and love in trust.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
blessed insight
"What do you do all afternoon and evening?!"
This question is sometimes posed by my curious sister, brother, or student, all mystified as to what activities and responsibilities keep me busy (especially since I don't own a T.V.).
As I share with them, they come to a deeper understanding of who I am besides just a sibling or a teacher. It is a conversation of insight.
Likewise, through spending more time with my parents and with people who know them well, I've also received insight into who they are as gifted individuals. I've come to appreciate their unique talents, acts of love, and choices they've made.
The depth of understanding causes me to love them more and to be thankful. Simultaneously, it kindles a desire to continue to learn more about them.
Knowledge that leads to
respect,
excitement,
appreciation,
and love.
The parallel struck me today that just as my siblings and students are curious to know more about me,
and just as I cherish the insight into my parents' lives,
so I also I long to know more about our Great God.
I long to know more about...
...His actions, which awaken wonder and awe.
...His character, might, wisdom, and purposes.
...His love, as displayed through His governing, His Son's sacrifice, His faithfulness to His beloved church, and His daily blessings.
Through His Holy Spirit,
God has awoken a hunger for His Word, where we can so clearly see His acts and His character.
He has deepened an appreciation for the beauty and the mystery of the Creation around us.
He has intensifies thankfulness and wonder.
And the more we know, the more beautiful the knowledge is. The more clearly we will see His hand in the most incredibly tiny details of our lives (providence again!)...and the large and monumental events.
And the more we will long for that revelation.
May we humbly pray for this longing and knowledge as a Church.
This question is sometimes posed by my curious sister, brother, or student, all mystified as to what activities and responsibilities keep me busy (especially since I don't own a T.V.).
As I share with them, they come to a deeper understanding of who I am besides just a sibling or a teacher. It is a conversation of insight.
Likewise, through spending more time with my parents and with people who know them well, I've also received insight into who they are as gifted individuals. I've come to appreciate their unique talents, acts of love, and choices they've made.
The depth of understanding causes me to love them more and to be thankful. Simultaneously, it kindles a desire to continue to learn more about them.
Knowledge that leads to
respect,
excitement,
appreciation,
and love.
The parallel struck me today that just as my siblings and students are curious to know more about me,
and just as I cherish the insight into my parents' lives,
so I also I long to know more about our Great God.
I long to know more about...
...His actions, which awaken wonder and awe.
...His character, might, wisdom, and purposes.
...His love, as displayed through His governing, His Son's sacrifice, His faithfulness to His beloved church, and His daily blessings.
Through His Holy Spirit,
God has awoken a hunger for His Word, where we can so clearly see His acts and His character.
He has deepened an appreciation for the beauty and the mystery of the Creation around us.
He has intensifies thankfulness and wonder.
And the more we know, the more beautiful the knowledge is. The more clearly we will see His hand in the most incredibly tiny details of our lives (providence again!)...and the large and monumental events.
And the more we will long for that revelation.
May we humbly pray for this longing and knowledge as a Church.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Mysterious Ways of God
We don't and can't see the big picture, so we're called to trust.
Even when it hurts. Even when things don't "make sense" from our point of view.
Poet William Cowper knew that well, and with grace he penned the words of the hymn "God Moves in a Mysterious Way."
It continues to be one of my favourites hymns because it outlines so clearly how God's ways are beyond our ways, yet how there is purpose and precision in His perfect plans.
I have taken the liberty to underline my favourite lines.
God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm.
Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs
And works His sovereign will.
Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head.
Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.
His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flower.
Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan His work in vain;
God is His own interpreter,
And He will make it plain.
Even when it hurts. Even when things don't "make sense" from our point of view.
Poet William Cowper knew that well, and with grace he penned the words of the hymn "God Moves in a Mysterious Way."
It continues to be one of my favourites hymns because it outlines so clearly how God's ways are beyond our ways, yet how there is purpose and precision in His perfect plans.
I have taken the liberty to underline my favourite lines.
God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm.
Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs
And works His sovereign will.
Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head.
Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.
His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flower.
Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan His work in vain;
God is His own interpreter,
And He will make it plain.
Sunday, January 04, 2009
Providence and Sovereignty
Providence. God’s “seeing before” and upholding of all things.
Sovereignty. God’s perfect and complete control of all things.
God’s perfect, rich, almighty, all-knowing plan, for the Glory of His name.
The riches of God have been so clearly revealed to me again through His Word and His gracious, gentle guiding. My heart bursts as I reflect on the past few days and the ways the Lord has again been instructing me, purifying me, and drawing me closer to Himself for His purpose and glory.
I stand amazed at this awesome God, Jehovah-Jireh, our Provider.
God’s Providence and Sovereignty are going to be my “theme” for 2009. I’m not really sure what that means since I’ve never had a “theme” for my blog before, but it has been made clear that I need to dwell further upon and delight further in our God as the great Provider.
* Recognizing, confessing, and enjoying God’ Sovereignty was the theme of the church service I attended with a friend on Jan 1st.
* God’s Providence and control in our lives was the theme of the LOGOS conference I attended Jan 1st-3rd.
* God’s Sovereignty was emphasized in my home church this morning.
* Even driving to church this morning, the song playing was "You Reign" by Mercy Me, which is about God’s Lordship over life and creation.
I look forward to reflecting upon, wrestling with, and praising the Sovereignty of God!
May this moment, day, and year be one infused with purposeful living, for the glory of God the Father.
(Please note: the descriptions of Providence and Sovereignty at the beginning are not meant to be definitions....I will expound over time).
Sovereignty. God’s perfect and complete control of all things.
God’s perfect, rich, almighty, all-knowing plan, for the Glory of His name.
The riches of God have been so clearly revealed to me again through His Word and His gracious, gentle guiding. My heart bursts as I reflect on the past few days and the ways the Lord has again been instructing me, purifying me, and drawing me closer to Himself for His purpose and glory.
I stand amazed at this awesome God, Jehovah-Jireh, our Provider.
God’s Providence and Sovereignty are going to be my “theme” for 2009. I’m not really sure what that means since I’ve never had a “theme” for my blog before, but it has been made clear that I need to dwell further upon and delight further in our God as the great Provider.
* Recognizing, confessing, and enjoying God’ Sovereignty was the theme of the church service I attended with a friend on Jan 1st.
* God’s Providence and control in our lives was the theme of the LOGOS conference I attended Jan 1st-3rd.
* God’s Sovereignty was emphasized in my home church this morning.
* Even driving to church this morning, the song playing was "You Reign" by Mercy Me, which is about God’s Lordship over life and creation.
I look forward to reflecting upon, wrestling with, and praising the Sovereignty of God!
May this moment, day, and year be one infused with purposeful living, for the glory of God the Father.
(Please note: the descriptions of Providence and Sovereignty at the beginning are not meant to be definitions....I will expound over time).
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